I wouldn't dismiss jealousy so quickly because it works on men as much as on women. We humans can't resist that feeling of belonging to someone.

Even as a solo polyamorist that feeling sneaks up on me sometime. But then I remind myself that they don’t owe me a thing to dismiss that feeling.

So jealousy is not about low confidence. It's a hormonal thing. The problem is that we (women) have learned to use human feelings to our advantage. And if you love someone but don't show it, jealousy can be used to make you step up.