I grew up in a family of 12. My half siblibing were the eldest. The boys were gentle except for one. And my dad did give him a hard time but instead he ran away from home at age 22 when he couldn't deal with my dad excessive parenting style.

I don't blame parents for allowing the boys be boys (in terms of smacking down the house) sometimes. If you are too strict on a child you may lose them or hurt yourself. I notice most strict parents often suffer stroke due to increased blood pressure they developed while raising their children harshly.