I always use the word calm down on males and females, especially if I feel my companion is getting agitated over a topic of discussion. I guess it depends on the tone- was it said authoritatively or as an obvious intention to subjugate the speaker.

Most of the expressions we receive may not always be intended to demean women. It all depends on how, when and why such a word or phrase was used.

Nonetheless, I do value your judgment in pointing out these indiscretions. We won't change how society perceives gender identity in one day, but with these steps, we can get more work done toward our course.