How to Avoid Being a Victim of Sexualized Behaviors

Men sexualize women, yet women get shamed for being sexual.

Photo by Rosie Ann from Pexels

I was about seven years old when I got molested by a relative of mine. He would stop by our house after his afternoon pastoral duty. My mum was cooking, so I was left alone with him on the balcony. He carried me on his laps with my back resting on his chest while preaching to me.

A few minutes later, I started feeling uncomfortable. Then I noticed he was rubbing his dick on my lower back. I got up quickly and wanted to go inside, but he held me back. I tried to run, but his grip was firm. I stood there struggling to get away from him until my mum called me inside, only for her to send me downstairs to go bring up some vegetables from the garden.

I was so scared that I ran down the stairs as fast as possible, hoping to get back up, so he doesn’t meet me downstairs. There would have been no saving me from whatever he had in mind.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough. I caught him waiting for me at the staircase. I walked back to the bottom of the stairs. He stood above the final flight, pulls out his dick, and beckons to me to come touch it.

I was terrified. Shocked that a close relative was exposing me to such immorality. I shook my head, tearing up and frightened. Then I heard my mum call my name from the balcony. She probably got worried because I was taking too long.

The fake ass preacher tucked in his dick back and left. I gave him distance apart, making sure his hands wouldn’t touch me if he stretched as he made his way to the gate.

I was seven, for God’s sake, and he was in his thirties. It was my first experience with sexualized behavior. Still, after thirty years, I can’t shake off the terror from that experience.

I try to shield my daughter from sexual abuse. I have had to turn down dates I feel can expose my daughter to harm’s way. I still find it difficult to bring my dates home, at least until my daughter moves to campus.

I see and hear stories of teenagers being raped by their father or close relatives, and I wonder what has become of this world. Why are adults so undisciplined and can’t see the trauma they cause on these…